Spirituality at home

My brother was driving me nuts. Each week he needed a cash handout. This time seemed the same as every other time. But my meditation practice was now having an impact on our relationship. After he made his request, I took some moments to pause, telling him I needed to come back to him as I also had extra expenses this month. I reflected that the more I push open a door, the more I see what's beyond it. Similarly, the more I remain neutral with my emotions, the more l am able to catch what another person is really saying. What's the worst that can happen when I communicate without being defensive? At worst, my ego may be bruised! At best, respect is maintained. I managed to find him the cash and set some firm boundaries for next time. He respected my choices. —DS

Arriving at the airport just minutes before my flight, I grabbed my bags and ran to the check-in desk, inadvertently leaving my passport on the seat. I missed my flight, lost the right to fly on that ticket and had to buy a new one at £500! No blame, just a scene in the drama of life! I enjoyed a coffee with a quiet mind and a smile on my face. —DS

A colleague persisted in insulting me behind my back to other staff. At first I wanted to retaliate and defend myself, listing his shortcomings. But I sensed this would make things worse. I had to choose a better way to fix this. Firstly, I stopped taking it personally, as I thought a lot of it was unfounded, and decided to use one powerful solution that had worked for me in the past. I saw that he was struggling with himself and I had become the target for his projected anger. Every time I saw him or thought of him, I would say to myself, "Am I returning a higher quality of energy than I am receiving?" No matter what he is giving me, I vowed never to withhold love but to go out of my way and give him extra love and regard. Within a few weeks our connection changed and the insults have stopped. We get along OK now. —CW

Recently, my husband spoke unkind, angry words to me at the supermarket; these circumstances did not allow for open communication. Normally, I would react and stress out, fret and give him the silent treatment for days. But this time I had been rehearsing the power to let go, to let scenes just pass by, no matter how painful they felt. My meditation teacher taught me to do this. I surprised myself this time. I felt free of the emotional hook I felt he held over me. In that moment I could stand back, holding top of mind the thought, ‘I am a being of peace. Peace is my natural nature'. That awareness freed and empowered me to move forward and stay positive. I also dropped my expectations that he would be civil with me any time soon. I took full responsibility for my actions and did not load myself with any hopes that he would change. I felt so free to be me. —MS 

I had just finished washing the dishes at home and was about to go out to football when my wife signalled she was unwell and could not speak at the school fund-raiser in three hours' time. Suddenly, I was thrown by the change of pace and was pinned into a corner by her request to take her place on the podium. My plans for the rest of the morning were shattered and I sat down quietly, took a few deep breaths and altered my plans. I rang around looking for another parent to stand in for my wife but without luck. No-one else could do the talk. So I agreed to speak. I adjusted my mindset. Through my daily meditation, I had learnt how to go with the flow and not resist change. —NK

Most days I find myself stuck in yet another traffic jam driving home from work. But today, somehow I was prompted to take an alternative perspective on this crowded motorway. I remembered the simple idea from my meditation class that, "I am a soul, a detached observer, an actor on the world stage," and within nanoseconds, I realised nothing really 'matters' as much as maintaining my calm, content, peaceful state. When I adopt this soul-conscious outlook, automatically I am patient and tolerant. Actually, I no longer judge on the basis of 'right or wrong' and I can stay detached. As a driver, I experience this almost daily now! Driving is a great place to practise and see what one's spiritual ‘stage' is in reality. The key is 'body conscious to soul-conscious'. When the world is looked at from a 'soul-conscious' viewpoint, then all the necessary spiritual powers appear automatically. —AP

Running a meditation centre right next to a DVD/record sales supplier who loved to blast his 'wares' all day and half the night was a challenge. I had just one request of him: to keep the volume down for 30 minutes in the early evening during the public meditation. As he was often high on drugs and alcohol, he often forgot my request. Not deliberately - he was a friendly person but lived a life of struggles and sadness. Most nights for at least three months, I stood in his doorway at the start of our meditation to prompt him to lower the music volume. No amount of discussion and reminders had helped and I refused to go as far as mentioning any council by-laws on speaker systems etc. Then one day, a loving Italian mum who visited us offered a perfect solution. On hearing this story, she put a steaming slice of her freshly baked lasagna into a takeaway container and told me to take it to him. His face lit up on seeing this gift. Was I really the first person in his entire life to show him love and care? Remarkably, that evening I did not need to approach his front door. He came to our door to check if the music volume was low enough! Love had won him over. —CW

When my mum first came home from hospital after hip surgery, it was quite challenging to me that she could no longer control herself in the way she or I would wish. My intolerance was never far away... until I understood her condition. Knowledge was power. It enabled an easy acceptance of all that happened from a place of love rather than a place of fear. —DS

Waking up at 2am, to a thunderous party next door, startled me. I thought the party was in my bedroom. My first thought was to ring the police and then I remembered, "Now, how many times did you create noise like this in your 20s?" I became quiet, faced my ‘karma', which was back in my life now like a boomerang. Soon I dozed off knowing it was payback time, whilst the raucous party played on. —CW

I was stressed by this new job. Too many things seemed to depend on me. I wasn't sure I was handling things in the best possible way. Tension and doubts were creeping into my mind, making things even worse. My meditation teacher had taught me to sit back and reflect at moments like this. I needed to find in a new inner space. I resolved I had the right and duty to stay quiet. In this silence, I felt freedom was my friend - just one step away. In one swift move, my thoughts arrived there — I was free. —VB

Working as a bus driver for school children, sometimes their shenanigans distract me from where I want to be and how I would like to feel. I must be focused at all times in this job. So, when I get a spare moment, I step aside mentally and, from this new position, I can clearly see that all the oceans of situations are just like a fun-filled ocean. I challenge myself to surf the waves and enjoy the fun of it all. Being there, I feel as free as a bird gliding through the course of events—the chattering children and the demands of anxious parents. —VB

The relationships at home were not pleasant, and everyone seemed to suffer in some way from Sam's attitude and behaviour. I knew tolerance was needed, but how to manage this without feeling under pressure or becoming resentful? Going into silence, I found myself becoming aware of Sam's feelings and experience, and a sense of mercy and compassion arose in me, allowing a natural and easy tolerance of what he did. I didn't need to analyse his situation but just felt grateful that meditation had filled me with this power. —VB

My arthritic body aches all the time. When meditating, I go deep into soul consciousness and feel naturally detached from my painful body. I experience myself, as a soul, being pulled above by that One… drawn into an experience of protection and healing love. That pull of love enables me to remain in this world, yet with an attitude of detachment. I receive a great deal of power from God and that's what makes me able to stay detached. When I am detached, then I can leave the distractions and negative thoughts that caused me sorrow. I experience a distance from my old nature. My heart starts to ‘feel' who the One is who is helping to transform me, to help me deal with pain – physical and mental. -KJ

Three times in my life, I have had to take a deep breath and face up to having medical procedures that I would rather ignore: a colonoscopy for polyps, a knee replacement and micro-surgery on my eye. The first two were almost a breeze to get through - apart from the rigours of physiotherapy. But the eye procedure tested me to the ultimate. While being conscious, my eye was anaesthetised and instruments inserted into the eye. I could see it all as it happened, but didn't feel a thing. This made me queasy and I almost fainted whilst watching tweezers peeling tissue inside the eyeball. Just before I was about to pass out, I invoked a meditation such that I could take my mind above to the soul world and feel the loving, soothing company of the Supreme Soul. During each of the three episodes, faith, trust and courage kept me steady and ready to face my fears. In the third, I accepted a bit of help and some healing company. —LE